My American State of Mind

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I never thought the day would come where my thoughts about slavery and racism would become clear and present fears. I feel like the slave movies I watched growing up are no longer the distant struggles of my ancestors but an actual cultural trajectory for the USA. I’m usually unconcerned with politics unless there is something that directly affects me. The news I pay the most attention to is written in the pages of Vogue and InStyle magazine.

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The political climate in the U.S right now is STORMY, to say the least. There’s a whirlpool of chaos surrounding the human rights of people from various cultural backgrounds. The KKK and white supremacist show down in Charlottesville was a small bomb that finally went off from this uphill trend in racial crime and prejudice in the United States.

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I never really understood the motivation behind racial prejudice, but this week I got it. Last Wednesday I walked into Fairways at around 12:30 am to buy some yogurt. Fairway supermarket is usually a zoo during the day time, no matter what time of day you visit, so I avoid the crowd by going right before closing. I was in line waiting to check out, and there was no one in front of me. Fully preoccupied in a phone conversation I over hear one of the cashiers say, “Mam you’re cutting the line she’s before you.” Generally, at this time of the morning, I wouldn’t mind anyone cutting in front of me, there were no lines, it’s late, and I’m tired. However, this was not how things played out.

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This little woman insisted that she was before me and stepped in front of me, screaming ” I’m next! I’m next!” and proceeded to unload her shopping cart at the cashier. She was around 5ft5″, slim build, with dirty blonde hair. I don’t know what happened or where it came from, but I snapped at her saying ” This is not white America anymore, it’s our America, for all of us so back the f-ck up and wait your turn.”

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I handed my yogurt to the cashier, paid and left. I left Fairway feeling my heart pounding, my blood rushing through my veins and my eyes welling with tears. I realized that the headlines printed on the pages of the New York Times and on NY 1 news in the morning and the late-night shows had seeped in my subconscious, plaguing my existence without me even knowing. It’s like my life had become a scene from the Netflix series “Dear White People. ” I don’t know what came over me.

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I know it sounds lame, but I wish we could all just get along. I wish I lived in a world where there was no such thing as white privilege or a country that wanted to become great by rejecting diversity and promoting hate.

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The thing about hate is, it takes you over and dictates your actions without you even realizing. Perhaps that lady at the supermarket was just intoxicated or simply had no manners. Maybe she was not trying to present herself as my superior in the lines at Fairway supermarket at 1 am. In that moment I just didn’t feel comfortable having a white person be that pushy and aggressive with me. I love all people of varying ethnicities, but I feel threatened to live in a world where people are protesting to uphold the principles of a pre Civil War America.

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Encouraging someone to dislike another person because you don’t like them or trying to bully them on the internet are all forms of hate. There’s nothing good that comes out of promoting hate. People kill themselves because of self-hatred. People also kill people because of hate. I’m tired of hearing names like Trayvon Martin and Sandra Bland I much rather acknowledge my African Community with names like Gabby Douglas  and Borack Obama.
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It’s not easy to be strong when you are facing hate. My First Lady once said: “when they go low, we go high.” Being the bigger person or a better person is not what comes naturally, but it directly contributes to your wholistic happiness. EXHALE….. Don’t swallow. The only thing you should be taking in without questioning yourself is how to wake up and body the tracksuit trend without thinking about it.

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Let’s be honest, I never thought the day would come when I would be wearing heels with jogging pants. That’s the look and trend right now. If it’s baggy and loose, elevate it with statement heels or just heels that are as high as your standards.
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These heels, in particular, have become my new personal fave. As much as millennial pink is all the rage right now, watermelon pink is giving me all kinds of fever.

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I originally ordered these from Matchesfashion on sale, but they did not fit. When I went to reorder they did not have my size. #BigFootPeopleLoseAgain! I eventually found them on Net-A-Porter U.K. When they showed up, I was ecstatic and overcome with LOVE! Love of the purest kind, ShoeLove.

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I’ll definitely be exploring more from this brand; the velvet makes them so plush and comfy to walk in. Anyone ordering should get a half size up or go up one entire size. I originally ordered a 40.5 . Now I have the 41 which is an exact fit. I feel like I would even be ok with a 41.5.

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I never thought I would get into this whole tracksuit trend, but the fact that the set is pink and floral gave an ultra feminine vibe that made me feel like yes, this can be my tracksuit moment.

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Those other tracksuits with the snaps on the side are Uber cool but a bit too #OnTrend for me.  I try to buy things I will still gravitate towards to in my closet even when a trend is over.

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Thanks for all the wonderful comments on my Instagram photos on this look. If you enjoyed this post and can relate to my feelings or just have a story you would like to share, please leave comments, I would love to hear from you. Until next time ….. More Love, Less Hate
XoxoSB

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GET THE LOOK

Zara printer trousers

Zara top

Marco De Vincenzo shoes

Gucci bag

Gucci sunglasses

  

Time and how it defines you

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Already the eighth month of the year is upon us. For me, August brings thoughts about time.
What have I done with it all?
How much have I accomplished so far?
Have any of my goals for this year reached a check mark?
As imminent as winter in an episode of Game of Thrones likewise is my progression into the latter part of 2017. Ready or not, here it comes.

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If we ask our dictionary about time, it tells us it’s “the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.”

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Optimists will say time is abundant, time is a gift but the definition of time that resonates most violently within me is a “stubbornly persistent illusion” – Einstein.

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I suppose it all depends on how time goes by for you. Do you count it as minutes and hours, work accomplishments, successful and failed relationships or the number of zeroes at the end of your bank statement?

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I quantify time according to events in my life. Completing each task or event sets the pace. Therefore if I’m not getting things done, then I feel like time is almost at a standstill regardless of the minutes or the hours ticking by.

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The point of all this philosophical banter is to set a personal pace for your life. If you try to keep up with everyone else around you, something once so abundant and fluid will feel burdensome.
There’s little or no happiness in a life where you’re always playing catch up. Your journey is special and unique; there’s no reward or distinction in trying to be like someone else or in living your life to please someone else. Try not to lose the authentic tick of your built in drum.

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Speaking of individuality, how about this look? I was a one of a kind woman walking around the Miami design district in six-inch heels and embellished denim pants.

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My hair was the ultimate accessory for the day.

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IMG_4945I  never thought I would love having braids so much. The low hair maintenance while visiting Miami for Swim Week, made it all worth the 4hours I sat in the chair to get it done.

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The Design District in Miami is what Williamsburg is to NYC. Overpriced real estate, high-end designer stores mixed in with trending emerging designer boutiques and tonnes of ART…. and taco places for some reason.

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IMG_4865 After checking it all out, taking it all in and having a biker chick try to caress me with her pet boa constrictor, I ate my weight in Tacos and hopped in an Uber to South Beach to catch my next Swim Miami show at the W Hotel.

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Happy to be a big titty, eclectic Upper East Side Jamaican chic.

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That’s my story, and I’m ticking with it!

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 GET THE LOOK

Dolce Gabbana Bodysuit ( similar here )

Topshop patchwork embellished denim (old)

Topshop socks (old)

ETRO  earrings provided by DesignerPopShop

Gucci sunglasses

Gucci Sylvie mini bag

Gucci platforms shoes ( Sold out on Matchesfashion )

Photographer : Camesha Powell