The Build-A-Bestfriend Store

How many times have you said to yourself, “things were so much more simple when we were younger?”
Even though I embrace all the complexities of life because of the growth that comes with it, sometimes I wish things were just a bit more black and white when it comes to friendships and relationships. In Prep School, the Best Friend was:
– the person you sat and ate lunch with every day
– the person who was always number two in your three-way telephone calls
– the person who would always know the guy you were crushing on before you even knew you had a crush
– the person who was probably a little bit more feisty and outspoken than you were, so you made a great pair.
Things were just that simple!

My Prep School best friend stayed the same until High School.
I thought that my permanent move to the U.S. was when I lost her, but in thinking back, we grew up and just grew apart.

We went from two peas in a pod to two very different girls, with different goals and different ideas of our grown-up life and achievements.

Have you ever seen that movie Beaches with Bette Midler? Well, let’s just say I started out as Hilary Essex but blossomed into CC Bloom, always landing on my feet. Currently, I have three best friends. One is a childhood friend, we grew up together because our parents are best friends to this day. Another, who I claimed because we went to St. Andrew High School for girls and formed a bond by both moving to the US right afterwards. My third best friend I stumbled upon later in life because of his outstanding loyalty and I’ve grown to realise that this is my KEY ingredient for a lasting friendship. Wait, there’s a fourth, who I met once I moved to Manhattan. She’s more like a sister, mother girlfriend combo, who’s actually taught me to be a better person. She’s living testimony to the phrase “a friend in need is a friend indeed,” so reliable and always there when I need her.

Over the years I’ve learned that you may not find every single quality that you are looking for in a best friend in one person. There isn’t a build-a-best-friend store where you just manufacture this amazing person that is going to be all that you want them to be and never let you down.

People are human, and the most human quality is that “we f@#k up.” There’s no other way of putting it!

The thing that separates good people from bad people, well…..I don’t even really want to use the term “bad people,” it just sounds like it holds so much weight and judgement on my part. Instead, let’s say the distinction between people who are genuine and holds your friendship in high esteem VS. people who you should probably stay the hell away from is their ability to :
– take ownership of when they are wrong
– apologise
– take the steps necessary to move the friendship forward
– respect your choices and opinions, even if they are unable to always agree with them.

A friendship is a two-way street; traffic flows both ways. There are times when I’m wrong, and other times when my friends are wrong, The fundamentals of a lasting friendship is the ability to move forward. It’s impossible to move forward if :

– you escalate situations
– try to get even or malicious
– you seek to make the other person hurt because you are hurting.

These things may sound simple, but its a lot harder in reality when you are face to face with these options.
I’m a Scorpio woman so learning to walk away from confrontation and conflict came with weighing the value of my time against the implication of putting energy into something. I know, that sounded like a super complicated philosophical life equation.

What it boils down to is: if I put energy into something, I’m giving it life, allowing it to thrive and grow. Meaning that I care about anyone or anything that I devote my time to. Naturally I would like to see it/them grow and produce a positive result. I know it sounds a bit self-centered, but that’s the simple reality of it for me. Dedicating your time to people who deserve it.

I’m thankful for the people I call friends and my intuition in choosing them. Not everyone is going to be a best friend and those who are may not be your BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.

I’ve learnt to accept people for who they are, believe them when they show me who they are and forgive them if they’re unable to be the friend that I want them to be. It took me a while to get here, but I’m here now, and it’s a very light, airy and positive place, I’m never turning back,

Happy Monday Lovies, have a fantastic week. xoxoSB

GET THE LOOK

Topshop Rainbow stripe knit sweater

Topshop Amy stud mini skirt

Topshop Boutique cobalt blue coat (old)

Gucci beaded Dionysus bag (Spring/Summer 2016)

Gucci pink oversized crystal sunglasses ( larger handles )

Gucci stacked heel platform pumps

Photographer : Michelle Ester

Marvellous March,
Yet it feels like my January; my year is just beginning right on the verge of my tax season nonetheless.

I spent 6 of the first 8 weeks out of the country. Ten days of which, was a much-needed baecationso not a completely sad story.

This season check prints are all the rage. Everything from gingham dresses, to check suits and plaid schoolgirl skirts are all an ABSOLUTE wardrobe YES this season. I’ve never really been much of a plaid person. As much as I love prints, it’s never been hot on my list. However now that I’ve tried it, I’m amazed as to how much fun check prints and plaid can be. If you haven’t thought of trying it before, I’ve added so many fun pieces to my closet that I’m sure you are bound to “check-out” sooner or later.

I’m not sure if Cher Horowitz or Elle Woods would covet it more. LOL. This outfit made me feel like I was having a Legally Blonde and ClueLess moment all at the same time.

Here’s a little story about the best part while shooting this look on Madison Avenue. All the elegant ladies walking by in their mink and sable coats, toting their Birkins and Ostrich Ralph Lauren Ricky bags were obsessed with my look.More importantly, my fuzzy pink purse. Again proving that it’s not the cost of the outfit but IF you own it!

Girls will always be girls, no matter how old or how sophisticated. Pink, cute, soft and fuzzy translates into an obsession in the typical female mind.

Now here’s a little something extra.

How many of you were obsessed with the image below,

of Shionat Turner captured by @missmelanie_ in a perfectly pink Fendi coat at NYFW? This was my fave look from NYFW this past February. It was perfectly pink and also perfectly proportioned considering she was wearing a crop top too.

Meanwhile at Topshop

This little darling is currently in store for $150 bucks! Yes under $200 and it’s pretty warm too. Thank me later lovies.

The coat our Fabulous Shionat is wearing retails for a hefty $3570. OUCH!

Definitely a SERIOUS splurge!

If it’s lucky enough to make it to sale this summer, then 60% off may be something to consider for a designer wool coat. However at the current price I will have to gracefully bow out of this purchase. Then again, at $1500 I probably still would not buy it, I could own 10 Topshop coats at the same value ,LOL. #DontJudgeMe

Here’s another little secret? I was actually wearing the back of the skirt on the front the entire time. I just didn’t like the idea of the skirt having a hook in the front. Although, the hook does lay really really flat. I guess I just like a little quirk or madness to my method. Also how do you guys feel about my curly hair? I’m really enoying how easy breezy it is. I’d love to hear your thoughts in my comments.